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3 lessons a Christian single woman can draw from the
viral video that spawned the #HurtBae hashtag
    Photo: The Scene/Screen Capture/EEW Magazine
Article By Ashley Peterson // Empowering Everyday Women // Love and Relationships

February 16, 2017

From the time a now viral video from The Scene, featuring a woman in an intimate discussion with
her ex about why he cheated, hit the Internet, it drove viewers crazy and spawned the social
media hashtag #HurtBae.

Her name is Kourtney Jorge. His name is Leonard Long III. And the two of them together, though
unintentionally, are teaching Christian women 3 powerful lessons on dating and relationships.

Before getting into what those lessons are, let’s establish a brief bit of background.

In this wildly popular video, Kourtney and Leonard's dramatic story unfolds to the public while the
two are sitting face-to-face against a grey backdrop with soft music playing in the background,
adding to the conversation's emotional intensity.

The former couple started out as best friends who met in college and wound up dating for three
years. Leonard admittedly cheated on his loyal girlfriend multiple—countless—times with no
concern for her feelings, as you will see when you press play on the video below.
Lesson #1: If he has a lustful heart and isn't committed to the Lord, he will hurt you.

I have been Kourtney, sadly, more than once. Though I have since matured with the help of the
Lord (after a lot of mistakes due to my own unwillingness to face truth), I have learned something.
A man has to
want to be faithful. Leonard had no desire to be in a monogamous, committed
relationship, so he cheated. His heart was given over to lust and he was happy doing whatever
he wanted, with whoever he wanted to do it. You can't build a solid relationship or any type of
healthy, happy future with a man like that.

You must want a man whose heart belongs to the Lord more than you just want a man. He has to
have a passion for pleasing God and honoring the Lord with his lifestyle. Otherwise, no matter
how good of a girlfriend you are, how sweet, beautiful, accommodating, or even forgiving, a man
given to lust will play the field on you. He will hurt you.

Lesson #2: Value yourself enough to expect biblical treatment from your man.

As a Christian woman, you must value yourself enough that, if a man does not exemplify biblical
attributes in the way he treats you, you will leave him, knowing fully that you deserve better. A
man with husband potential will love you selflessly, "just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her" as Ephesians 5:25 says.

One of the most heartbreaking lines in the video is uttered by Kourtney when she expresses that
she knew Leonard was cheating, but didn't leave. Her reason for staying, she said, is "because
you're my best friend." That was gut-wrenching. The emotion on her face and the tears falling
from her eyes tells how wounded she was and still remains.

But Kourtney is a classic example of millions of women who sympathize with, put up with, and stay
with a man who is unfaithful because they love him too much to move on. I know that feeling. But
as a Christian woman, let the
Bible be your guide. Know that God wants and has better for you.
He has someone who will love you the right way: sacrificially and selflessly.

Lesson #3: Trust your discernment and let it guide your actions.

Women who aren't in a relationship with God often talk about women's intuition and how they get
a feeling in their gut when something isn't right. As a woman of faith, who is guided by spiritual
discernment (the divine ability to distinguish truth from falsehood), you have an even more keen
awareness of what's going on. Don't ignore what God reveals!

Like Kourtney, who no longer trusted Leonard and started going through his phone to confirm
her suspicions, you know how it is when you sense that something rotten is happening.

Be wise. Let God lead you. If the Lord is dealing with your heart, showing you things, sending you
signs that something is off, trust Him and respond by moving on. If you feel like you have to
become a private investigator and stalk your man to try to keep him from straying, that's not the
way to go. If his heart isn't in the relationship and you already know the God-revealed truth in
your spirit, it's time to make a the wise choice and move forward, no matter how badly it hurts.

I've been #HurtBae before and you may have, too. But that's not God's will for your life. If you've
been broken in an unhealthy relationship, learn the lesson from it and be resolved to draw close
enough to God that you will be led by Him going forward.

If you are currently in a situation and you know it's a toxic romance that needs to end, ask God to
give you the strength and courage to walk away. He will heal your heart and bring you someone

Are you in a broken relationship, need to heal, move on, or receive guidance from the Lord about
what to do next? You don't have to walk this journey alone. Allow the Empowering Everyday
Women Ministries prayer team to pray with you for the Lord to help you in this season. He'll do it!
Click here to request prayer.
Copyright © 2017-2020 Empowering Everyday Women Ministries, Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.
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