LaKeisha Rainey Collins: Beauty for Ashes Column
Been waiting a long time for God to deliver? Keep
believing.
Blog by Lakeisha Rainey Collins
Posted October  24, 2017
Credit: Getty/ Corbis/ Kevin Dodge
This entire month has been a blur. I have been sick and challenged in my body every single day in
October. No exaggeration.

I brought in the very first day of the month sitting in the emergency room in tears, unbearable pain,
and out of whack vitals. Having such a severe case of
Hidradenitis Suppurativa, which has no known
cause or cure, doctors are often unable to offer much solution whenever I have a major flare. Let me
just tell you the pain in from the pits! Being told for the millionth time in the past seven years, “The
best we can do is give you pain medicine” frustrated me so greatly. In my head I was thinking,
I
already take some form of pain numbing medicine every day, but it doesn’t offer much help. Thanks
for nothing.

I didn’t express that outwardly though, because, well, it would’ve been rude. The medical team was
very attentive and tried their best to help me. My condition isn’t their fault, so I couldn’t take my
frustration out on them. Pain will make you angry, won’t it? But that’s a conversation for a different day.

I remember walking out of the emergency room that day with my eyes filled with tears and my heart full
of hopelessness. To add to that, ten days later I was hospitalized for eight days due to the very same
issue. This time, I had yet another life-threatening infection and underwent surgery.  I remember
expressing to my husband, while lying in the hospital bed, “I’m so tired of this. I just want it to go away.”

Over the years, I have tried every oral medicine suggested by doctors to no avail. At this point, I only
have two options left – inject myself with a daily steroid for a year or undergo a very extensive surgery
that will render me immobile for three months. In both options, neither offer a 100% solution and can
introduce other issues. Thanks, but no thanks.

So what option does that leave me? Suffer until God heals me.

Call me crazy, but I’m looking for total healing and not a maybe solution, especially one that may get
rid of this, but will cause that. Nope, no deal.

At this point, all I have is my faith. Let’s talk about that, though.

For the past three out of seven years of dealing with HS, I have fervently prayed for God to heal me. I
wholeheartedly believe in the supernatural power of Jesus Christ, and if He could open blind eyes,
cause the lame to walk, heal the lepers and the woman with the issue of blood, and raise the dead,
surely He can restore my health. There’s no doubt in mind about it; I am fully persuaded. However, as
confident as I am in the power of Christ, I am also aware of reality. Reality is that I have been praying
and believing for God’s healing, but my condition has gotten progressively worse. *insert dramatic cry*

I have been waiting for the day I wake up and I have no pain and no physical evidence of having
Hidradenitis.

Waiting. More pain.

Waiting. Getting worse.

Waiting. Still suffering.

Waiting. Crickets.

Listen, waiting while you’re hurting is hard.
God’s perfect timing seems to be nowhere on the clock
and due season seems to have come and gone ten times over. You wonder why, when, and how
much longer.

It can be so frustrating and, honestly, disappointing. When you wake up every day expecting
something and days pass for years without it happening, it’s a disappointment; especially when you
have so much faith in who or where you’re expecting it from. You feel let down, ignored, and forsaken.
You think,
God, You’re my Father; how can you let this continue to go on when you see how much I’m
suffering?
You think that maybe this is just that thorn in your flesh and God’s grace will have to be
sufficient as you deal with it long-term.

All kinds of stuff goes through your mind and you feel like God will never answer your prayer. What
keeps me believing, in spite of what I see or how I sometimes feel, is that God has a proven track-
record of faithfulness in my life.

When I prayed for Him to heal my oldest son from hydrocephalus as an infant, He did it.

When I prayed for Him to restore my marriage some years ago, He did it.

When I prayed for Him to restore me after miscarriage, He did it.

When I prayed for Him to heal my mother from sickness, He did it.

When I prayed for Him to give us a daughter, He did it.

When I prayed for Him to bring my father into my life, He did it.

When I prayed to be healed from depression, He did it.

And the list goes on.

In each of the aforementioned situations, there was a waiting period between prayer and
manifestation. In all of those instances, it seemed like God didn’t hear me and it would never happen.
But guess what? It did, every single time. If He did it before, because He changes not, He will certainly
do it again.

The enemy would love nothing more than for you and I to lose faith in God and our faith to falter in
what we are expecting Him to do in our lives. So, He’ll magnify our problems and our pains, and try to
make it seem like God doesn’t care about how much we’re hurting because He appears slow in
moving to bring us a resolve. He tries it, but the devil is nothing but a liar. God is not in the business
of failing, and He’s not about to start now.

I still believe God. I still believe that I will soon have a testimony of miraculous and total healing. I still
believe He will answer.

Will you still believe?

I know you’ve been praying for a long time and things continue to worsen. I know it’s frustrating. I know
it feels unfair. You probably even feel bamboozled for believing in someone who would allow you to
suffer when they have the power to fix it. It’s tough. Trust me, I know.

But think about it: has God really ever failed you? Has He not always come through for you in
whatever is best for your well-being? Has He ever let you drown? Has He ever let you down?

You know, this life doesn’t promise any of us a bed of roses. Jesus tells us in John 16:33 that we will
have trouble in this world. We also have a beautiful promise in Psalm 34:19 that, “Many are the
afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

God is going to do it, my friend. When? I don’t know. All I know is that He is indeed faithful.

Keep believing.

Read last week's blog: Don't let self-esteem issues stop you from pursuing destiny

LaKeisha Rainey Collins is an Mobile, Alabama-based wife, mom of three boys and one girl, Founder
of Beauty for Ashes, Inc. and author of two books --
Beautiful Me and My Baby Has Wings. Learn
more about her
here.
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